Wonder Woman: The Unfair Sex...

Every fashion event, as anyone who works in the fashion world will know, whether it is the London Fashion Week itself, or one of the post-show parties, is usually filled with bitchiness of the highest degree…
One of the things you must try ‘not’ to talk about at these places is your diet. I was caught recently at one of these parties stuffing a calorie-packed dessert down my throat in front of a well-known London socialite (who obviously spends most of the year ‘not’ eating) and was given the deadliest of jealous stares. This, as every woman who does not spend her life obsessing about her body, constitutes enough reason to be loathed by the women who do. If looks could kill, I would have choked myself on the sugar-laden delicacy and dropped dead, there and then. There is a universally accepted list of things that women obviously hate about other women, and scoffing goodies while others struggles to maintain their waistlines is definitely in the top 10. If you need to be reminded of the other nine unforgivables, I have devised a list:
Lying about dressing up. You ring on the afternoon of an important party and ask what Wonder Woman is going to wear. She says: ‘Oh, just something casual,’ then turns up in a slashed to the thigh, black bonk-me dress. Variations include the girl who says, ‘I’m so fat’, when she knows she has Madonna’s figure.
Behaving differently in front of men. We don’t mind ruthless and tough or helpless and winsome, but we cannot forgive switching from one to the other the second a man enters the room. Similarly, rewriting history for the benefit of men (‘Oh, I adore watching football’) is really irritating.
Being sexy during ‘chill-out’ time. I’m referring to those rare weekends in Troodos when you have an understanding that it’s to be dressed-down fleeces and well-worn jeans, but Wonder Woman brings her whole ‘casual’ wardrobe, plus ultra-tight jeans for the evening and a suitcase of ‘natural’ outdoorsy make-up.
Crying when the going gets tough. Sorry, but women who cry at work when they screw up, cry when their car breaks down, cry when they get criticized by their bastard of a boss, are just letting the side down and making it harder for the rest of us.
Lying about your age, cosmetic procedures, hair colouring. It’s okay to dodge these subjects in front of prospective partners, but to not be straight with your own sex is creepy. We like a girl who says: ‘Look! Feel these! Only three hundred quid.’
Always keeping the nicest present. There is no point of giving something if you always keep the slightly better version for yourself. We hate this more than not getting anything at all.
Being a one-glass drinker. You don’t have to be a lush, but we are suspicious of the skin-preserving, carbs-watching girl who sips on a glass of chilled white all night. Total control is alienating.
Not performing for women. We don’t dislike women who flirt, just women who only spark up when the opposite sex is present.
Attention-seeking mothers. These are the women who can’t stop reminding you that they have produced life. So they can only talk to you if junior is bouncing on their knee. If the subject should stray from junior’s little ways or routine, it’ll be back on course before you can say: ‘Did I mention I am a mother?’…